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RATS!

January 15, 2011

Well I hate rats and mice, they are deplorable little creatures that just freak me the hell out. Last week a mouse was living in my room, skittering around under stuff and brazenly wandering around like it owned the place and it freaked me out a bit to the point where I lost sleep thinking about it jumping in the bed or crawling on me while I slept, ewww Christ it’s awful. So I did what any red blooded M’rican gun owner would do with an intruder in the house, I made a plan to kill the little bastard with my own hand by a show of force with a well aimed BB shot to the head. I have a BB gun shooting range in the basement just for the kicks so I went and I trained for a little while, then readied the weapon and placed it on the floor next to my bed. The first night my girlfriend was here asleep next to me while I sat reading Rainbow Six waiting to the enemy to arrive. When it did however, I realized I only had my left hand free because of the way she was sleeping so I had to shoot off a semi panicked untrained shot which missed and only managed to send the beast reeling into the shadows and scared it away for the night, pissed off the lady a bit too and she wanted to know why the fuck I was shooting the BB gun in the room while she was sleeping. The next evening I said fuck the pistol and grabbed the BB rifle since the girlfriend wouldn’t be around tonight. I fired a few rounds off at some plastic bottles on the range to familiarize myself with the weapon and loaded it with just enough rounds to keep the reservoir empty and quiet from lack of jangling BB’s, pumped it five times which is more than enough pressure to turn that rat bastard into confetti and took the weapon to the front lines, aka, my bedroom.  Since that night that furry plague carrying POS hasn’t shown and I did this little piece here in the meantime as a cathartic exercise.

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